The untold stories

This was something that I wrote long time ago when one of my friend (who was going to marry her gf) said that he did not want her and he wanted me instead. Gila nggak? Emang! And lonely Rene was trapped there. Trying to help her friend but ended up did stupid shit. Malah ikut hanyut dalam buaian omongan dan rayuan temannya. I almost be a pelakor ya know? Glad I decided to stop everything. I regret it all. I found this kinda letter days ago and I thought it was worth shared. So here it is. Named LKS untuk pundung (don't ask me about the title I have no idea at that time. remember that was the lonely and stupid Rene writing this leter) Hallo pundung. Ini sekarang aku nulis ini jam 3.19 a day after we have that fancy dompleng kupat tahu hahaha. Aku nggak bisa tidur, walau aku pingin. Kayak otakku tuh nggak mau berhenti mikirin hal-hal kampret macam gimana cara bersiap ditinggal kamu, atau bersiap menghadapi bahwa besok dan seterusnya aku (dan kamu) nggak akan bisa baik-baik saja...

It's okay if your plan failed. It's okay if you feel like the world is not fair. Because it's actually fair enough for being unfair to everyone. It's okay for you to cry while you eating your dinner while you driving back to your home while you working on your job. It's okay for you to cry harder in the middle of the night when you feel like it's only you who got your back. You may feel like the world is taking away your dream. You may feel like you are really close to the things you want but the world said it is not the things you need. It's okay to be tired. It's okay.

I know that this one is an embarrassing story but let me write it here while I still remember every single thing about it. Agak eman-eman juga kalau dibiarin terlupakan. November 2010 (I forget the year but I think it was 2010) There was a guy following me on Twitter. Namanya Raya. It was his name that he used to get to know me. Mengaku dari Bandung, sekolah di SMA 5 Bandung angkatan 2012. Rene muda, yang waktu itu memang masih kelas 10 SMA, dengan polosnya iya-iya aja. Ada mas-mas lucu yang ngefollow di twitter. Mulai dari mention-mentionan, akhirnya lanjut ke DM. Standard lah ya. Lalu kemudian, si mas ini tiba-tiba gone away. Nggak ada kabar sama sekali. Terus ada satu orang temennya yang mention dia (I found it when I searched his username) said that he died. Omg I feel like I cannot continue writing this. Lol. This was embarrassing. I am so sorry for being a dumb-young-innocent lil girl that time. Sedih, aku coba cari facebook dia, kali aja ada sesuatu gitu, mati beneran...